You've made it through the divorce... and you're starting to discover there IS life after it.
When everything has fallen apart, and life doesn't look the same anymore, that's the perfect time to put yourself and your life back together, new and improved!
You might feel like that’s easier said than done! You and your family may be struggling to find your new normal. What does normal look like now?
Your social circles may have changed, leaving you feeling more alone and empty. You may even find the things that used to inspire you aren’t so interesting anymore!
You want to move on, but you may find that you’re stuck in the past, still embroiled in all the negative emotions … unable to move forward and create what’s next.
You’re experiencing some peace of mind because you’ve finally made it through all the difficult conversations, negotiations, and decisions you had to go through during the divorce process. But now, all that was decided and agreed upon is settling into reality. You and your ex may be struggling to work within the bounds of what you agreed to. Or, now you’re having to deal with your ex’s new partner and how that’s impacting your children.
The uncertainties you faced during the divorce have been settled, but now you face a new set of uncertainties. It’s hard letting go of all the hopes and dreams that the old relationship was built on, and grieving is normal. In fact, grief is a necessary … and inevitable … part of your recovery. You’ll need to work through the grief process, whether you were the one to initiate the divorce or not.
Here are some signs you aren’t coping well after the divorce:
Diving into over-work or a new relationship to avoid the pain of loneliness
Your effectiveness at work is suffering
Feelings of anxiety and fear around what’s happening now, or an uncertain future
Frantically filling your time with “things to do” to avoid being with all you’re feeling
Feelings of despondency, longing for the past and what could have been
Obsessing over your ex, what they’re up to, following them on social media
Feeling battle-weary and just “making it” through the day
Stuck in emotions such as anger, blame, regret, resentment, guilt, shame, failure, etc.
Feeling like you’ll never feel true happiness or joy again
And of course, any kind of substance abuse
This is a precious and powerful time, whether the divorce is weeks, months, or even years behind you. The divorce blew everything up, and you may be having trouble putting the pieces back together.
You’re not the person you were before you got married. You’re not the person you were when you were married. So, who are you now?
The old story with the old relationship is over, and now it’s time to write yourself a new story… where you find victory in reclaiming yourself and creating your new life!
Give yourself the gift of allowing yourself to be transformed during this transition. Evolve into a new you … one who brings along all the gifts and learnings of the past into the future so that you can create a wiser, more open-hearted you. You can feel the joy and adventure of life again!
The first and most important relationship to focus on is the one with yourself, even if you have children. You’ve got to come into balance within yourself, into a healthy relationship with yourself, so that you can be the best person for yourself and your children. And certainly, before dabbling in new romantic relationships.
I help my clients accept the ending of their marriage, start building new relationships and experience divorce as an opportunity for a new life. You can find peace, love, inspiration, joy, and happiness again.
As your coach, I will help you to:
Overcome any fear and resistance that’s still holding you back
Clarify what you want for this next chapter of your life
Challenge yourself to take the actions you need to take even when you’re feeling somewhat uncertain
Step into an even greater vision of yourself and the new life you’re creating
Are you ready to move forward and get past this? If so, I invite you to schedule a complimentary, no-obligation discovery session to see how I can help you!